Send OBAMA FACTS to me and I'll POST them if they're WORTHY of this amazing AMERICAN HERO.
Last week I was at an oyster bar and had to drop a load really bad. Turns out there was only one stall, and it was being used by Barack Obama. I couldn’t wait a second longer — nor did I want to disturb our future chief’s B.M. — so I squatted over the wicker wastebasket by the sink. After a minute the generous and understanding diplomat tossed his roll of toilet paper over the stall door. As the T.P. landed softly into my cupped hands, Obama said, “Looks like you’re gonna need that a lot more than I will.”
— American Jewgolo
Obama’s idea of ‘getting away’ is to drive to the far side of town by himself. He drives up to the top of a high ridge overlooking the city. Once he’s there, he grips the steering wheel tightly and stares off into the horizon. He sighs and whispers to himself, “Forgive them, for they know not what they do…” Then he goes home and brings Michelle a pint of Häagen-Dazs.
— Bag Coffee
Obama sold DJ Kool Herc his first turntable. He made Herc a custom slip-mat out of The Sudarium. For Obama’s blasphemy, God burned the Bronx but saved Hip-hop.
— Bag Coffee
Obama convinced the Dali Lama to try a hamburger. The Lama liked it so much, he asked for a second one…
— Bag Coffee
Barack Obama doesn’t eat creme brulee. He eats FREEDOM PUDDING.
— Jessica
Barack Obama SCOFFS at Chuck Norris.
— Zack
Did I ever tell you about the time BARACK OBAMA took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can’t find one. Finally Barry takes me to a vacant lot and says, “Here we are.” We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Obama yelled over the roar of the flames, “Always leave things the way you found em!”
— Jessica
Barack Obama RAN with FORREST GUMP across AMERICA.
— Zack