Send OBAMA FACTS to me and I’ll POST them if they’re WORTHY of this amazing AMERICAN HERO.OBAMA FACTSTumblr (3.0; @obamafacts)http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/Last week I was at an oyster bar and had to drop a load really bad. Turns out there was only one...<p>Last week I was at an oyster bar and had to drop a load really bad. Turns out there was only one stall, and it was being used by Barack Obama. I couldn’t wait a second longer — nor did I want to disturb our future chief’s B.M. — so I squatted over the wicker wastebasket by the sink. After a minute the generous and understanding diplomat tossed his roll of toilet paper over the stall door. As the T.P. landed softly into my cupped hands, Obama said, “Looks like you’re gonna need that a lot more than I will.”</p> <p>— American Jewgolo</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39332527http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39332527Sat, 21 Jun 2008 20:38:35 -0400Obama’s idea of ‘getting away’ is to drive to the far side of town by himself. He...<p>Obama’s idea of ‘getting away’ is to drive to the far side of town by himself. He drives up to the top of a high ridge overlooking the city. Once he’s there, he grips the steering wheel tightly and stares off into the horizon. He sighs and whispers to himself, “Forgive them, for they know not what they do…” Then he goes home and brings Michelle a pint of Häagen-Dazs.</p> <p>— Bag Coffee</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39317818http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39317818Sat, 21 Jun 2008 16:55:02 -0400Obama sold DJ Kool Herc his first turntable. He made Herc a custom slip-mat out of The Sudarium. For...<p>Obama sold DJ Kool Herc his first turntable. He made Herc a custom slip-mat out of The Sudarium. For Obama’s blasphemy, God burned the Bronx but saved Hip-hop.</p> <p>— Bag Coffee</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39317801http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39317801Sat, 21 Jun 2008 16:54:39 -0400Obama convinced the Dali Lama to try a hamburger. The Lama liked it so much, he asked for a second...<p>Obama convinced the Dali Lama to try a hamburger. The Lama liked it so much, he asked for a second one…</p> <p>— Bag Coffee</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39317773http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39317773Sat, 21 Jun 2008 16:54:22 -0400Barack Obama only wears UNDERWEAR with the FLAG of the UNITED STATES on them, he NEVER lets a pair...<p>Barack Obama only wears UNDERWEAR with the FLAG of the UNITED STATES on them, he NEVER lets a pair touch the GROUND, and he BURNS them in a moving, private retirement CEREMONY when their service has ended.</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39211822http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39211822Fri, 20 Jun 2008 18:03:14 -0400Barack Obama doesn’t eat creme brulee. He eats FREEDOM PUDDING. — Jessica<p>Barack Obama doesn’t eat creme brulee. He eats FREEDOM PUDDING.</p> <p>— Jessica</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39210768http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39210768Fri, 20 Jun 2008 17:52:47 -0400Barack Obama SCOFFS at Chuck Norris. — Zack<p>Barack Obama SCOFFS at Chuck Norris.</p> <p>— Zack</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39210347http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39210347Fri, 20 Jun 2008 17:48:46 -0400Barack Obama LOVES and CARES for your BABY more than YOU do.<p>Barack Obama LOVES and CARES for your BABY more than YOU do.</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39209751http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39209751Fri, 20 Jun 2008 17:43:31 -0400Did I ever tell you about the time BARACK OBAMA took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off...<p>Did I ever tell you about the time BARACK OBAMA took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can’t find one. Finally Barry takes me to a vacant lot and says, “Here we are.” We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Obama yelled over the roar of the flames, “Always leave things the way you found em!”</p> <p>— Jessica</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39208964http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39208964Fri, 20 Jun 2008 17:37:16 -0400Barack Obama RAN with FORREST GUMP across AMERICA. — Zack<p>Barack Obama RAN with FORREST GUMP across AMERICA.</p> <p>— Zack</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39208622http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39208622Fri, 20 Jun 2008 17:33:20 -0400Barack Obama would MAKE LOVE to AMERICA if it were possible. He’d also SLOW DANCE with...<p>Barack Obama would MAKE LOVE to AMERICA if it were possible. He’d also SLOW DANCE with AMERICA.</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39192382http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39192382Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:44:29 -0400Barack Obama has never uttered a SWEAR WORD in his entire LIFE other than when Saddam Hussein was...<p>Barack Obama has never uttered a SWEAR WORD in his entire LIFE other than when Saddam Hussein was hung and he yelled “FUCK YOU SADDAM INSANE!” at his TELEVISION.</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39192165http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39192165Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:42:32 -0400Barack Obama CRIES when SPERM is wasted on anything other than MAKING BABIES.<p>Barack Obama CRIES when SPERM is wasted on anything other than MAKING BABIES.</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39191840http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39191840Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:39:40 -0400Barack Obama only leaves UNITED STATES SOIL to FIGHT TERROR with his BARE HANDS.<p>Barack Obama only leaves UNITED STATES SOIL to FIGHT TERROR with his BARE HANDS.</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39191572http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39191572Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:37:51 -0400Barack Obama’s favorite FIREARM is ALL OF THEM.<p>Barack Obama’s favorite FIREARM is ALL OF THEM.</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39191492http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39191492Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:37:23 -0400Barack Obama listens to every CHRISTIAN radio talk show SIMULTANEOUSLY. He can DO this because he...<p>Barack Obama listens to every CHRISTIAN radio talk show SIMULTANEOUSLY. He can DO this because he has an INFINITE number of EARS.</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39191155http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39191155Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:34:36 -0400Barack Obama loves to watch BASEBALL almost as much as GOD but not quite because GOD is GOD.<p>Barack Obama loves to watch BASEBALL almost as much as GOD but not quite because GOD is GOD.</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39190742http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39190742Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:30:41 -0400Barack Obama SAVED a YOUNG BALD EAGLE he found during a HIKE by chewing his FOOD and spitting it...<p>Barack Obama SAVED a YOUNG BALD EAGLE he found during a HIKE by chewing his FOOD and spitting it into the TINY BEAK.</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39190498http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39190498Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:28:57 -0400Barack Obama is PRAYING right now and if you LISTEN closely you can HEAR IT.<p>Barack Obama is PRAYING right now and if you LISTEN closely you can HEAR IT.</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39190311http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39190311Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:27:16 -0400Barack Obama told Stormin’ Norman Schwarzkopf EXACTLY what to DO during the first GULF WAR.<p>Barack Obama told Stormin’ Norman Schwarzkopf EXACTLY what to DO during the first GULF WAR.</p>http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39189999http://obamafacts.tumblr.com/post/39189999Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:24:47 -0400